It's been 2 months and a week now since you're gone. I can still remember vividly from the moment I received the phone call from sis.
That one call that made my heart sank and tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably as we rushed to Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Upon arrival, I was waiting impatiently for your ambulance to arrive and tried to calm myself down as much as I could.
The moment you exited from the ambulance with mom running towards us, I couldn't take it for I knew you were in pain because of the stroke. You were still conscious then.
An hour went pass and we got news that you were in coma. It was shocking to know that as we left you to the hands of the doctors there, thinking that they would try their best to keep you conscious. They said, "A specialist will come to you soon to explain your dad's condition."
We believed, because we did not have a choice. Two hours gone passed us in a blink of an eye and after chasing for the specialist to meet us every half an hour, he finally arrived and all he said was, "Your dad's in a very critical condition. There was a brain hemorrhage and we won't be able to perform any operation on him."
Our heart sank again. While everyone was in a lot of pain, I tried to fight the pain and prompted further questions to understand the condition based on what I managed to gather through the Internet and some friends of mine.
Our heart sank again. While everyone was in a lot of pain, I tried to fight the pain and prompted further questions to understand the condition based on what I managed to gather through the Internet and some friends of mine.
It was and will be one of the most painful moment in my entire life. I was in anger, frustration and feeling lost all together. I wished I knew how to deal with stroke or anything that we could have done during the brain hemorrhage. I wished my brains were fast enough to make a judgement call to bring him to another hospital immediately for a second opinion.
God didn't allow me the opportunity for you were already taken away from us on the second day when you were placed into the ICU.
I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything in time which could have saved you. I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with you, I wish I did.
I'm sorry for everything that I have done or not done enough. I know you're in a better place now, watching over us and protecting us from above. Please grant me the strength to continue looking after the family and keep them together for as long as I can.
Goodnight dad, I love you.
Goodnight dad, I love you.
