Trust.

;It simply means "firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something."

At least, that's according to Google. or anywhere else. 

In my context, it is more than just that definition. To me, trust brings an important meaning in life. It somehow interlinks with any other things - Humans, feelings, situations, you and I. 

It is not something that I could have taken it less seriously. In fact, the word plays such an important role to me that when something happens, it can just crumple me in seconds.  

I chose to believe and to trust different people who have come in and out of my life. These almost lead me to nowhere. Nowhere but the feeling of getting hurt, paranoia and negativity. 

Then again, it allowed me to learn from the beginning whenever it's coming to an end. I would keep telling myself to keep the faith, this is just another test, a random challenge to see how far we can go in life. 

When I finally gathered all the courage to take the steps again, the whole scenario will hit a replay button. Then, I break apart. 

I question myself; How tough would it be to be a little more honest, to learn how to say no, to remember what you've told someone else and not act otherwise? Perhaps, its the situation around you that changes you? I tried to understand what may come. Creating the answers to all of the questions. 

Unfortunately, I failed. 

I failed to see from a third person's perspective, to be in the person's shoes, to judge what I could have done that the other couldn't. Am I really this insecure or I'm too self-absorbed with myself?

Was I really wrong to choose to trust someone and putting all of my faith on a gambling line? Was I so blind to see for myself that nobody can be trusted except yourself, even if words sounded promising?

Oh, silly, silly me. To think that there will be someone trustworthy out there somewhere. What a fool. 

Perhaps, it's time to wake up from the sweet nothings and dive back into reality, where you clearly know that words are merely words. 

They mean nothing, not even if priorities have been set straight a long time ago. 

As for this, it will serve as a reminder to self, always.